There's a saying on the Internet, two words that succinctly and efficiently provide a roadmap on how to live a good, productive life: Never Tweet. If you do indeed choose to tweet, you will inevitably say something profoundly stupid, ruining your life forever. For this reason, not tweeting is usually your best course of action.
@sportsyelling is the exception. When the woman behind what is arguably the most hilarious, foul-mouthed and passionate Twitter account associated with Cleveland Indians fandom fires off a tweet, always in all caps, it leaves us refreshing her page for more. An account born out of a passion for the Tribe passed on by her mother, along with her friends tiring of her constant yelling at the Indians via her personal account, @sportsyelling is the stream of consciousness running through all our heads during an Indians game in tweet form. Whether she's referring to Trevor Bauer as "Puddin' Pop" or telling a troll in her mentions to get bent with gusto, @sportsyelling is the Twitter account we deserve.
We caught up with this mysterious champion of social media to chat nicknames, the second half of the Indians season and the struggles of being a woman who voices her opinions about sports.
VFTT: First things first: when is the last time you tweeted something that wasn't in all-caps?
@sportsyelling: I TEND TO GO LOWERCASE WHEN IM TWEETING SOMEONE FAMOUS WHO DOESN'T ALREADY "GET" MY SCHTICK, OR WHEN SOMETHING IS SUPER FUCKING SERIOUS. IT SEEMS DISINGENUOUS TO TWEET ABOUT SHOOTINGS OR SOMEONES DEATH IN ALL CAPS, YA KNOW?
It feels like you watch and/or attend almost every Indians game. How many would you say you take in, on average?
PROBABLY 150-155. AND THAT IS ME LOWBALLING IT. IF IM NOT WATCHING I'M LISTENING ON THE RADIO, AND IF I CAN'T DO THAT I'M FOLLOWING IT ON MY PHONE.
What's been your favorite part of a surprisingly awesome 2016 campaign for the Indians? (If it's not Trevor Bauer flying his drone into the White Sox scoreboard, we've got beef)
TREVOR FLYING HIS DRONE INTO THE SCORE BOARD WAS PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME. I ALSO ENJOYED THE PARTY AT NAPOLI'S MOVEMENT BECAUSE IT WAS STARTED BY MY FRIEND @HIPSTERTITO, AND IT'S RARE THAT SOME BULLSHIT WE SPEWED ON THE INTERNET TURNS INTO SOMETHING REAL AND RAISES MONEY FOR CHARITY.
The nicknames you come up with for various Indians players might be the best thing about your account. Do you have a favorite?
I SWEAR TO GOD I JUST MAKE THEM UP AS I GO. MY FAVORITE IS FOR KYLE CROCKETT, WHICH IS FETUS, BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS IT'S SUPER STRANGE AND EVEN MY DAD SAID I TOOK IT TOO FAR.
Yan Gomes has had a tough year. Since sacrificing a chicken to Jobu didn't work, how you would solve what ails him?
HAVE JUAN URIBE DANCE NONSTOP FOR 72 HOURS WHILE YAN GOMES THROWS GLITTER IN HIS GENERAL DIRECTION. ALSO, YAN SHOULD ADOPT A TEAM PUPPY.
Let's go through some quick hitters. Describe the phenomenon that is Jose Ramirez
LEGENDARY ICON AND STAR. SKULL SLICK LIKE BUTTER. UNEXPECTED.
What's the better thing: Frankie Lindor's smile or Juan Uribe's dance moves?
FRANKIE LINDOR'S SMILE COULD SINGLE HANDEDLY POWER AN ENTIRE COUNTRY IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY.
To ensure they clinch the AL Central and reach the playoffs for the first time since 2013, the Indians must ___?
ALL THEY CAN TO ENSURE THEIR FANS DON'T DO THE WAVE DURING GAMES. (BUT SERIOUSLY) KEEP THE CHEMISTRY ALIVE, DON'T GET AHEAD OF THEMSELVES, KEEP HAVING FUN.
Let's get serious for a moment. You're a female on Twitter who voices her opinions on sports, which can bring trolls into your mentions. How do you deal with that? Has anyone said something that really affected you?
I HAVE TO SAY THAT I AM LUCKIER THAN SOME OF MY FRIENDS RE: COMMENTS ON THE INTERNET. I DONT KNOW IF PEOPLE JUST FEAR ME OR THEY DON'T WANT TO BOTHER FUCKING WITH ME, BUT OVERALL PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GOOD TO ME. THE WORST IS SOME DICKHEAD WHO WISHED RAPE UPON @BRUTALSTEPHANIE, @SAS2425 AND I. MANY MANY PEOPLE REPORTED HIM AND TWITTER SAID THERE "WASN'T ENOUGH EVIDENCE" TO SUSPEND HIS ACCOUNT. SO YEAH, THE INTERNET IS A PRETTY SHITTY PLACE PRETTY OFTEN BUT OVERALL MY FOLLOWERS ARE VERY RESPECTFUL AND COOL.
Do you think baseball, as a brand, markets well to women, like at all? How would you change it for the better?
I THINK IT STICKS OUT MORE AS A NEGATIVE WHEN BASEBALL MARKETS TRY TO SPECIFICALLY TARGET WOMEN, BECAUSE THEY DO IT IN A VERY STEREOTYPICAL MANNER. I THINK @LANA WENT TO AN ASTRO'S GAME THAT SPECIFICALLY HAD A WOMAN'S NIGHT, AND THEY LIKE, EXPLAINED THE RULES OF BASEBALL AND SHIT. DON'T PRETEND WE'RE STUPID AND HAVE NEVER SEEN A GAME BEFORE. I WANT THE SAME THINGS MOST MEN WANT AT BASEBALL GAMES. MAYBE THIS IS A DUMB ANSWER BECAUSE NOT EVERY WOMAN IS AS OBSESSED WITH BASEBALL AS I HAPPEN TO BE, AND THE MARKETING TEAMS ARE TRYING TO SPEAK TO THE LARGER POPULATION. SHRUG EMOJI.
The Indians were in the running for Aroldis Chapman before he signed with the Chicago Cubs. With domestic violence in his past, how would his signing have affected your fandom?
IT MAKES MY FEELINGS COMPLICATED. I DON'T WANT TO ROOT FOR SOMEONE WITH A DV BACKGROUND. I DONT WANT TO BE IN THE PLAYOFFS AND WISHING CHAPMAN WELL. I UNDERSTAND HE'S A GREAT BULLPEN ARM....I AM JUST A STUBBORN PERSON WHO DOESN'T WANT TO ROOT FOR DICKHEADS. IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO ABOUT THAT UNTIL IT HAPPENS--IF IT HAPPENS.
Finally, if the Indians win the 2016 World Series, what happens to @sportsyelling? Do you dance in the streets until the sun comes up? Retire your account? Spontaneously combust?
NO WAY WOULD I RETIRE THE TWITTER ACCOUNT. DEFINITELY DANCE IN THE STREET AND HUG STRANGERS, TAKE AN ENTIRE WEEK OFF WORK TO CAMP OUT IN CLEVELAND, AND CRY EVERY 10 SECONDS.